3-26

I can not go to work today,

Said Parry Aileen Pick McKlay.

I caught my finger I my fly.

I’m sure that I am gonna die.

I know I lost my right eye,

I know that I am gonna die.

My day was not to go this way.

My elbow is bent, my leg ain’t straight.

My temp is 808.

What?…What’s that?…

What’s that you say?…

You say today is Saturday?

Fair well!  I’m going out today!

            by Cashmere

I Am Sick Today

I have the mumps and the measles

and some purple bumps.

I think I’m dead.

Wait! What did you say?

Today is field trip day!

I’m not sick today.

I want to go to school and play.

But she says no you aren’t.

You are sick so you are going

to stay in bed.

Maybe you can go out on Saturday.

            by Jaquan

 Sick

Mom, I am sick.

My knees are swollen.

I have a headache.

I have a bad itch.

I hope my medicine wasn’t stolen.

Man!  I really wish it was Saturday.

            by Eva

      Sick

My finger is swollen red.

My foot is caught in my old bed.

My neck is broke as broke can be.

I think I’ve been stung by a bee.

My head has grown six times its size.

My temper has begun to rise.

Believe that I do tell the truth.

I’ve just lost a permanent tooth.

            by Aminat

Sick

I can’t go to work today.

Said little Jenny and Penny.

I have the measles and

I’ve counted 23 chicken pox.

I got bags under my eyes.

I smell like the garbage can.

I’m starving to death.

I’ve bent my ribs.

My spine surely ain’t straight.

My mouth is dry.

My throat is dry.

I’m going blind in my right eye.

I cough and sneeze and choke all the time.

My tonsils are larger than a huge boulder.

My temperature is 98.

My heart is numb,

My spine is broke,

My face is what ???

What’s that you say?
You say today is Sunday!?
Good BYE. I’M GOING OUT TO PLAY!!!!!!!!!!!

            by Evan

Sick

I have my eyes looking away.

My contacts burned; glasses broke.

My zippers caught in my red coat.

My fingers bent; ankle sprained.

So I can’t take the test today.

            by Wesley

 Injury

My brother bit off all my ear.

Now I really cannot hear.

My sister threw me to the ground.

And then I was tramped by my hound.

My dad pegged me with the ball.

And now I look like a dead doll.

                        by Shane

Uhhh….

I’m allergic to my pencil

and oh what a day.

I’m stuck in the nurses’ office

and I’m glad I get to lay.

What?  What’s that you say?

You say we get an extra recess today?

G’bye, I’m going out to play.

            by David

C'mon those were just fun right?  See i laughed a little and thats the best form of healing laughter is really the best medicine!!  :) I have been quietly listening to the TV I guess there is a huge blizzard headed our way it already hit Denver and will cripple the city in a few hours, be careful today in your travels!

CMN(COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS)

TAYLOR SWIFT holds on to the number-one spot on Billboard's Country Albums chart this week with Fearless, but CARRIE UNDERWOOD'sCarnival Ride project rockets back to number two with a 59 percent sales increase over last week. The big bump comes from her performance onAmerican Idol last Wednesday night. Her duet partner on "I Told You So," RANDY TRAVIS, comes in at number three on the chart with his new double-disc compilation I Told You So: The Ultimate Hits of Randy Travis.

In other Taylor Swift news, she has a hit on her hands across the pond. Her rep tells us "Love Story" has taken the number-one spot on the UK National Airplay chart.

Next month marks the 10th anniversary of MONTGOMERY GENTRY's debut album, Tattoos & Scars. Though the past decade has been full of hit songs and recognition from the CMAs, ACMs and Grammys for the duo, TROY GENTRY says, quote, "It seems just yesterday we first got started here in Nashville... I don't know where some of the days or some of the years have gone." Troy's duo partner, EDDIE MONTGOMERY, fires back, saying, quote, "I know where some of them have gone." Montgomery Gentry's latest project, Back When I Knew It All, is up for Album of the Year at the ACM Awards, airing April 5th on CBS-TV.

The Grand Ole Opry launches their Opry Country Classics show tonight in Nashville. LORETTA LYNN, LORRIE MORGAN and THE GATLIN BROTHERS are on the bill for tonight's program, which focuses on the songs that helped build the Opry into the influential institution it is today.

New group GLORIANA will be featured in a web series on CBS.com detailing their first trip to the ACM Awards on Sunday, April 5th. The webisodes are now airing, and Gloriana has a hit on their hands with their first single "Wild at Heart." They're also going out on the road with TAYLOR SWIFT on her Fearless tour starting April 23rd in Evansville, Indiana.

Talk about tacky. After LEANN RIMES was allegedly caught on a date with her married TV movie co-star EDDIE CIBRIAN, a dating agency for cheaters is now offering her free lifetime membership. Fox News reports that the Ashley Madison agency thinks LeAnn will be able to find true love on their website, or at least a good hook up. The infidelity agency is also offering their services to LeAnn's hubby, DEAN SHEREMET.

NASHVILLE NUGGLETS!

MILEY CYRUS and BILLY RAY CYRUS have been confirmed to attend a Nashville screening of Hannah Montana: The Movie on April 9th before it opens nationwide on April 10th.

TAYLOR SWIFT will have a giant castle onstage during part of the show on her upcoming Fearless tour. 

DOLLY PARTON tells AARPThe Magazine she's considering hosting a children's TV show in the future. 

The members of RASCAL FLATTS are all big fans of the TV show 24.

BILLY CURRINGTON says he wants to go to Tahiti someday.

HOLLYWOOD 411

A restraining order has been issued against a 34-year-old man who Los Angeles police say was arrested after he tried to get onto the set of ABC's Dancing with the Stars to meet celebrity contestant SHAWN JOHNSON.

Authorities say ROBERT O'RYAN was arrested after security guards at the L.A. studio where Dancing With the Stars is produced caught him jumping a fence Monday afternoon and entering a hallway. Guards called police after they asked O'Ryan to produce ID and he displayed an expired concealed weapons license and stated he had guns in his car.

According to legal documents, a police search of O'Ryan's vehicle recovered, quote, "materials classically used for kidnapping," including a loaded .45-caliber handgun, a loaded shotgun, duct tape, plastic zip ties, love letters to the victim and a map to the victim."

Police say Johnson's parents had already filed an application for a temporary restraining order against O'Ryan when he was taken into custody. In filing for the order, Johnson's parents stated their 17-year-old Olympic gymnast daughter was, quote, "in fear of her life."

The restraining order seeks protection for the gold medalist and her parents. Johnson's Dancing with the Stars partner, MARK BALLAS, was listed on the application, but his name was not included in the restraining order that was granted Wednesday.

According to legal documents obtained by TMZ.com after O'Ryan's arrest, he told studio security guards and police officers he, quote, "packed all his belongings and permanently left Florida to drive across the country because he believes [Shawn Johnson] is speaking to him personally through the television and via ESP and that they will have a child together. He stated he would be with her no matter what."

The legal documents also state that O'Ryan made statements which led police investigators to, quote, "believe he is dangerous." A hearing to make the restraining order longer in duration will be held April 14th. 

Johnson's publicist has issued a statement saying, quote, "The matter has been turned over to the Los Angeles Police Department and the Los Angeles County District Attorney's office. It is currently an ongoing investigation and we are confident that it will be handled appropriately by all involved." TMZ.com reports Johnson now has a personal bodyguard -- an off-duty police officer who is frequently employed by the studio whereDancing is produced.

A spokesperson for Dancing With the Stars also released a statement saying, quote, "The appropriate authorities are handling the matter."

O'Ryan, originally from Yulee, Florida, is currently being held in lieu of 35 thousand dollars bail on suspicion of carrying a loaded firearm in public.

DENISE RICHARDS only lasted a few weeks on ABC's Dancing with the Stars, but the actress says she has no regrets and tried her best. CHARLIE SHEEN's ex says she's especially proud of her samba performance on Tuesday night's "dance-off," and pleased with the positive reaction she received from the judges and the audience. Her pro partner MAKSIM CHMERKOVSKIY (ch-MER-kov-ski'), says the actress can now add dancing to her resume and move on to do anything she wants in life. Eleven celebrities and their partners remain in competition on the ABC reality series.

{WINGNUT's TAKE}  Denise does have one regret. She wishes she had made it further than Steve Wozniak

Denise is glad to be off the show. She can now go back to her full-time job suing Charlie Sheen.

People magazine reports the late NATASHA RICHARDSON's organs were donated at the request of her family after she was taken off life support at a New York City hospital last week. The magazine cites an unnamed family friend who says the actress, quote, "spent so much time fighting the stigma of AIDS; someone like that would naturally donate her organs. At least by donating her organs something good could come out of [the tragedy]." It's unclear whether any patients have received any of the organs yet.

Another family friend, socialite BLAINE TRUMP, says Richardson's husband, LIAM NEESON, is, quote, "doing okay" in the aftermath of his wife's death. Trump tells the magazine, quote, "It takes a while to absorb this. But he says the family needs to move forward. They will take it one step at a time."

Neeson, who left the Toronto set of his movie Chloe to be by his wife's side after her skiing accident in Canada last week, reportedly is expected to resume work on the film in the near future, while the couple's two sons will return to school.

Richardson died March 18th due to a head injury she suffered when she fell at a Canadian ski resort two days earlier. She was 45 years old.

CSI star MARG HELGENBERGER filed for divorce Tuesday from actor ALAN ROSENBERG, citing irreconcilable differences. According to legal papers, the 50-year-old Helgenberger is seeking spousal support and asking the court to deny spousal support to Rosenberg. The couple separated four months ago after nearly 20 years of marriage. They have one adult son.

Helgenberger plays Catherine Willows on CSI and has been with the CBS forensic drama since its debut in 2000. Rosenberg, 58, is currently president of the Screen Actors Guild. His most recent screen credit is last year's Righteous Kill.

{WINGNUT's TAKE} She wants money from him? She's the one who's been on a hit TV show for the past nine years.

Tonight's episode of Grey's Anatomy will be an emotional one. For starters, Dr. Owen Hunt unintentionally attempts to strangle his girlfriend, SANDRA OH's Cristina Yang, as he's having a nightmare. As a result, Hunt, an Iraq War vet, is forced to confront his battle with post-traumatic stress disorder. 

Also in tonight's episode, Derek and Meredith get engaged and KATHERINE HEIGL'S Izzie undergoes surgery in an attempt to treat her stage-four skin cancer. There have been reports that Heigl is angling to leave the show, but KEVIN MCKIDD, who plays Owen Hunt, says the cast remains intact for now. He insists, quote, "Everybody's in every episode that I've read so far."

You can catch Grey's Anatomy on ABC at 9 p.m. Eastern time.

ABC is making some changes to its Thursday-night lineup tonight. WithUgly Betty on hiatus until May, the network will introduce the new comedy In The Motherhood in the 8 p.m. ET time slot. The show centers around three mothers -- played by former Will & Grace actress MEGAN MULLALLY, Curb Your Enthusiasm star CHERYL HINES and JESSICA ST. CLAIR -- who have different approaches to parenting. One of them is married, another has a so-called "manny" in her life, and the third mom is single.

Former Saturday Night Live cast member HORATIO SANZ is also featured in the show, which will be followed tonight by the return of the CHRISTINA APPLEGATE comedy Samantha Who?

Sure, the global economy is failing, but PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA is also deeply concerned by the mercury poisoning epidemic that is apparently taking over the entire world. At least JEREMY PIVEN seems to think so.

Piven and producers of the recent Broadway play Speed-the-Plow are headed for arbitration June 8th and 9th in New York in their ongoing dispute over the circumstances surrounding his withdrawal from the show. Piven, who also stars in HBO's Entourage, has claimed he dropped out of the show in December because he was suffering from mercury poisoning, the result of eating too much fish. After the arbitration hearings were announced yesterday, Piven's camp released a statement that read in part, quote, "Mr. Piven is looking forward to testifying in arbitration along with his doctors so that the truth comes out about the very health serious risks caused by mercury exposure, which the Obama administration has recently described as the world's gravest chemical problem."

The producers are requesting medical information and documentation of Piven's activities during and after Speed-the-Plow's run on Broadway, which concluded in February. A grievance hearing held last month at Actors' Equity Association failed to resolve the matter.

WESLEY SNIPES, who is appealing his 2008 tax evasion conviction, may have hurt his cause by attending a lavish party in Dubai last November. Prosecutors in Florida, where the actor was found guilty of three counts of failing to file income tax returns, have asked a judge to deny a request by Snipes to allow him to travel abroad in the coming months.

Snipes last year was granted permission to travel to London and Bangkok, Thailand to work on two movies, Gallowwalker and Chasing the Dragon. The prosecutors argue that he abused the privilege by traveling from Thailand to Dubai to celebrate the opening of the Atlantis Hotel resort. Snipes is currently requesting permission to travel to Africa next month to reshoot scenes in Gallowwalker. He also wants to visit Italy from May to August to film a movie titled Game of Death.

The prosecutors have also requested that Snipes' bond be revoked pending his appeal. He was sentenced to three years in prison.

{WINGNUT'S TAKE} The world is so unfair. Wesley Snipes doesn't pay taxes and he's traveling the world. I pay my taxes and can barely afford to go out to Wendy's for dinner. 

Snipes has a lot of nerve. He's going to try and write the party off on his taxes as an entertainment expense.

TV INSIDER

More than 40 million viewers tuned in to PRESIDENT OBAMA's hour-long news conference Tuesday night, according to Nielsen Media Research. That's a much smaller audience then the 49.4 million who watched his February news conference and the 52.3 million viewers who tuned in to watch his February address to Congress. Tuesday's news conference forced Fox to move American Idol to last night, which benefited ABC's Dancing with the Stars "results" show. Without an Idol to compete against on Tuesday, Dancing attracted more than 16 million viewers. Fox aired a repeat of House...

LEONARDO DICAPRIO will be presented with a "Big Green Help Award" at Nickelodeon's 22nd Annual Kids' Choice Awards this Saturday in Los Angeles. The cable channel says DiCaprio is being honored for his efforts in promoting environmental issues. DWAYNE JOHNSON is hosting the awards event. The channel is asking its young viewers to symbolize their commitment to the environment by turning off their games, lights and cell phones for one minute at 9 p.m. on April 22nd -- Earth Day. It's noted that TV sets are not included in Nick's list of suggested gadgets...

Actor SETH ROGEN has been tapped to host the April 4th edition ofSaturday Night Live. Rogen's screen credits include the movies Knocked Up, Superbad, Pineapple Express and the upcoming comedy Funny People with ADAM SANDLER...

The Hollywood Reporter says Dirty, Sexy Money star DONALD SUTHERLAND has been cast in the CBS drama pilot The Eastmans. The report says the drama revolves around a dysfunctional family of doctors with Sutherland cast as the wealthy patriarch, a cardiologist. In other casting news, former Lost actor IAN SOMERHALDER has been signed to play the lead in a CW drama pilot entitled Vampire Diaries. Somerhalder played Boone Carlyle on Lost and was the first major character of the show to die...

The Hollywood Reporter says The CW is in negotiations to broadcast this year's Daytime Emmy Awards. CBS and ABC have been alternating as hosts of the event for the past four years, but their contracts are up and neither network is interested in renewing. Ratings for the awards show have been declining in recent years...

The co-creator of the Fox series 24 is reportedly shopping around a ten-hour miniseries about the Kennedy Family. The Hollywood Reporter says producer JOEL SURNOW will be trying to sell the project internationally this weekend at an industry event in Cannes, France. A U.S. cable network is reportedly already in talks to acquire the Kennedy miniseries...

The Cartoon Network is jumping into the reality TV business.Variety reports the network announced 13 new series Wednesday, including six live-action reality shows. The reality lineup includes a roller coaster game show, an outdoor adventure challenge, a demolition-themed show and a program that answers oddball questions called Dude, What Would Happen?...

MOVIE INSIDER

Meet the potential new Stooges: SEAN PENN, JIM CARREY and BENICIO DEL TORO. According to multiple reports, Penn will play Larry in the FARRELLY BROTHERS comedy The Three Stooges. Carrey is in talks to play Curly, while del Toro is a possibility for the role of Moe. The film is expected to be a modern-day Three Stooges story, rather than a biography on the trio...

Variety reports NICOLE KIDMAN has been added to the cast of a currently-untitled WOODY ALLEN film. The movie will also star JOSH BROLIN, ANTHONY HOPKINS, ANTONIO BANDERAS, NAOMI WATTS and FREIDA PINTO. No word yet on a plot...

The Hollywood Reporter says PIERCE BROSNAN, UMA THURMAN andGrey's Anatomy actor KEVIN MCKIDD will play Greek gods in the fantasy film Percy Jackson. The project is based on a novel about Poseidon's half-human son, Percy, who tries to prevent a war between the gods...

TOM CRUISE and CAMERON DIAZ may team up in an as-yet-untitled romantic comedy. According to Variety, the project focuses on a woman who's unlucky in love until she goes on a blind date with a "mysterious handsome man."...

The Hollywood Reporter says ORLANDO BLOOM is in talks to star inMain Street, about a North Carolina town rocked by the arrival of a stranger. The movie represents the final screenplay by HORTON FOOTE, the To Kill a Mockingbird screenwriter who died earlier this month...

According to The Hollywood Reporter, former Grey's Anatomy actor ISAIAH WASHINGTON will play LOU RAWLS in a biopic of the late singer...

REDMOND O'NEAL, the 24-year-old son of RYAN O'NEAL, pleaded not guilty yesterday in Malibu, California to methamphetamine possession and other charges in connection with their arrest last September at the actor's home. Ryan O'Neal pleaded guilty in January to a felony methamphetamine possession charge and was sentenced to an 18-month drug diversion program...

The Academy Awards will be presented later than usual next year because of the Winter Olympics. The 82nd Annual Academy Awards are scheduled for March 7th, 2010 at the Kodak Theatre in Los Angeles. ABC will air the ceremony...